Love Big: Loneliness

Easy Ways The Church Can Love a Lonely Mom

I imagine that we have ALL felt loneliness at some point or another. Some sit in the desert of loneliness for so long it feels like it will never end. I love the story of Hagar in Genesis 16 where she flees her home with Sarai into the desert because she is afraid and lonely. There the Lord meets her and ministers to her heart by giving her HOPE in what seems like a hopeless situation. Hagar knew where her hope came from and this is what she said:

“So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.””

 Genesis 16:13

She went there just newly pregnant and the Lord spoke to her broken heart. And she addressed Him as “El Roi” – the God Who Sees.

We all want to be seen and known but especially so in times when we feel forgotten and empty. Moms feel these same feelings of being overwhelmed, forgotten, and discarded.

We moved to a new state with our four kids a few years ago and our youngest was only 2 months old. It was just the beginning of the southern summer. Ironically, humidity wasn’t a word we knew the definition of yet. All of that coupled with the fact that we only knew two people in the whole state.

I began to feel so broken and lonely. I didn’t even know what to do. It felt hopeless and I wondered if El Roi saw ME.

I remember my husband booking me a cheap ticket ‘back home’ for a long weekend and to say I cried the whole weekend is an understatement. I cried when I found out I could go, the whole way there, and every time I saw a familiar face or place! I was one big hot, lonely mess.

Through that experience I learned to be the eyes of the Lord and to seek out new and lonely faces. Here are some ways you can speak life into someone else’s loneliness.

+ Be aware – Don’t be so busy and preoccupied with your life that you get tunnel vision. It is easy to get focused on our own lives and forget to get live missionally. Our lives are not our own and we are called as followers of Christ to follow His example of meeting the heart needs of the broke around us.

+ Take an interest – Everyone loves something! Find out what it is and ask genuine questions. It makes people more comfortable to talk about something they know and brings them joy to share it with someone else. You can never underestimate the power of well-timed question.

+ Listen – Find out what special treats or drinks a lonely mom loves and surprise her with it! If you listen to the Holy Spirit and respond with obedience when He prompts you to bring hope, you will be equally as blessed as the recipient.

+ Sacrifice – Live sacrificially and if you have kids allow them to be a part of that! Maybe you can grab all or a few kids to give that mama a break or allow her to have a date night with her husband! She might say no because guilt tells us to ‘buck up and do it’! But don’t give up! Think creatively on ways you can help that will make her comfortable! Maybe it’s helping with yard work or picking up her grocery order! Be available!

+ Touch base – take the time to text or send a FB message regularly so she knows you actually do SEE her, and she is on your mind! You can’t even imagine how life giving this little thing can be!

Love BIG! Don’t let your own busyness steal the joy of being love to those who feel forgotten and hopeless!

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.

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